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There will be lots of broken stuff, and lots of awesome stuff. Having fun living in the past.

So you know I like to share stories of delivering pizzas, right? Well this one tonight was one of the best. I called someone at the dorms, he didn't answer. I left a message. He called back, I took his delivery over then. We must call people in the dorms, cause we can't get in without them. Anywho, I go over to the dorm and he comes down with his girlfriend.

"Sorry bout that dude, my phone was on silent."
"Oh it's all good, fifteen fifty-six was your total."
Girlfriend- "OH hey, can we use this coupon?"
"Yea, just let me call the store and get your new total."

I had left my phone at the store to charge, due to my weak battery.

"Hey, I have to use your phone."
"Oh, okay, you have my phone (to girlfriend)"

She gives me the phone. I slide up the slide screen to find a picture of her pleasuring herself.

"Oops," I say.
"Oh my god... you need to change that immediately"

I made the call and the poor girl stared at the ground the whole time.

Seriously, how many people a day miss the meter maid by one fucking second. I'm walking up to drop some more quarters in, and she's there, writing my ticket. I know it's my own damn fault for not getting there earlier. I'm in class, distracted by facebook and zoning out, but come on! Now I've gotta pay 34 dollars when I coulda paid 50 cents.

I also just searched meter maid and saw this picture and found it to be humorous. Apparently they give an award to women, like a Miss Anytown kinda thing. Why? Not sure. I should apply.

Seriously, is there anything more bad ass than shooting a gun? What kind of man hasn't held a pretty legit air rifle or pistol and didn't have the urge to kill something? I used to run around this place my family used to live and shoot birds with a pellet gun, and then feed them to the cats. They used to look at me and say, "Antone, you're so manly." Primitively hunting prey in order to feed it to my family, which was cats at the time apparently, put hair on my chest at the ripe age of ten.

So is this a pro-hunting post? No. I don't give a crap about sitting in stands shooting deer or water buffalo or snow leopards. I have strongly desired to take a little .9mm or a sweet .45, whatever I can get my hands on, and shoot a trunk of tree and feel my penis grow a whole inch. I don't desire to own one, because it would quickly consume my life. I would be afraid of it at first, but about three hours of just staring at it, I would be running down to the river to find a hobo. No, not to murder you sicko, who do you think I am? I would show him my sweet piece and he would tell me how awesome I am, cause he'd be the only person up at 5AM when I decide I'm finally going to pick this thing up and take it for a test shot.

Now let me just break it down for you... Shooting a gun makes you more bad ass than you ever could be without doing so. Just take a glance at some of the most bad ass people in history. Dudes swinging guns all over the place. They don't always have to shoot people with em, sometimes they shoot gas tanks inciting an explosion, killing hundreds of people. The explosion makes the gun even more bad ass. But hey, still you're not as bad ass if you can't get your gun knocked out of your hand and still punch some mother fucker harder than he can punch you.

Pretty sure this has just turned into rambling now, but my main point is, let me shoot your handgun at like a shooting range or something. I feel like it'd be a good time.

I made a routine visit to adamcarolla.com to check on my favorite part of life, listening to The Adam Carolla Show in the car all day every day, and I see this picture. I think I just got dumped. Really. Do you remember when Blink 182 broke up? I was devastated. And this just happened 10 minutes ago. So straight to the message board I go, I need to know what's happening. It's confirmed, it's true. Lots of talk shows on the station are being cut. So here I am, listening to the second to last broadcast on the web. Jumping a week ahead, something I never do. And this all means nothing to anyone in this state, he's not on the air here, but fuck. Man, fuck. This bums me out. No really, for the love of god. I listen to about 15 hours of this show every stinkin week.

On the bright side, I guess he announced that he's going to be making a podcast show. Which will probably merit him literally yelling "Fuck you, Kate Hudson!" Or insert many many other names. It will be shorter. It might not last at all. But hey, it might get me through the long lonely nights I have left as a delivery driver.

So here's to you, Adam. Thanks for the last 3 years.

My childhood is officially not dead. As I had previously thought, my innocence died with the dismemberment of this band. But now that they're back together, my body and mind just went 8 years backward. I gained 20 pounds very fast, and my hair grew back. This is interesting. Weird.

Oh well. I know everyone has heard this news already. But people feel like it's my duty to make a big deal out if it I guess. I am the biggest fan you know, well maybe it is "was" the biggest fan. I haven't been that excited about it all. I mean, yea, I'd love to see em again. But I'm afraid of new Tom Delonge music. AVA sucked. But the last Blink album was pretty fucking neat. So I guess I will just wait until this new one comes out before I get all panty bunched. It's just like seeing an ex you didn't expect to try and get to know you again. It's a little awkward, but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it to get my heart broken again.

This has been on my back burner for a long time. But I have a bone to pick with the many people that order pizza from the Domino's at the U of M. From now on, any "you" I use will use refers to kids who live in the dorms, football players, leaders of student organizations, black people, asian people, and drunken douche bags that don't know how to order a pizza.

Let's start with the inciting incident for this late night rant. A man calls us up 20 minutes before close. I take his order........

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I am so sick and tired of people talking about shit like it matters. Today I painfully sat through a discussion of how people manifest memories and what the definition of a memory actually is.

"Nothing idea or thing is ever original it all comes from memory"
"No that's not true! People can have original ideas."
"durrrrrrrr!"
"potstickers!"

Though I am not accurately able to recreate the hour of bullshit pouring out of these peoples mouths, I can pretty much sum it up in this following sentence. "Let's decide that no thoughts are original unless they are created in an environment that has never had an influencing factor."

Now that I'm pissed off let me do some math.

Cost of My Semester - 6,173.28 / Hours Spent in Class this Semester - 136 =

$45.39

That's right 45 bucks spent of my money to fucking sit and watch people talk as if they were intellectuals about nothing. Nothing! Just blowing air across the table to each other. I actually told the kid next to me, " I want to smash my face on the table until I can't hear anymore." Who seemed confused then participated in the conversation about how much more you can try to make yourself seem interesting than the people looking at you across the table. Please government, don't allow me to buy a handgun. It will not be used for protection.

Disclaimer: This is an extremely over-emphasized version of what happened. For entertainment purposes only. I didn't expect anyone to come across this, but someone did. So I just want to say this comes from a culmination from many conversations I've had in art classes that haven't sparked me, but I'm obviously outside the realm of a lot of these types of philosophical discussions. So please take what I say with a grain of salt.

A new fucking movie where they play husband and wife. Couple Retreat

If you know me, you know how this makes me feel.

From TVGuide:

"Kristen Bell, Kristin Davis and Malin Akerman are packing up for a Couples Retreat.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the ladies have signed on to co-star in the upcoming Universal comedy chronicling four couples who partake in therapy sessions at a tropical island resort. And no, you're not counting wrong — there's still a female role open.

The XY halves, on the other hand, have all been cast. They are Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau (who wrote the script), Jason Bateman and Faizon Love.

Bell will play Bateman's wife; Davis, Favreau's; and Akerman, Vaughn's.

Poor Faizon. Someone hook him up with a woman STAT!

Shooting will take place in Bora Bora and LA. Peter Billingsley will direct and Scott Stuber is slated to produce."

Things that have happened since I've made an entry on this website:

- We have the first black president elect (although he's just as black as he is white)
- Domino's introduced sandwiches to their menu
- I've lost thirty three pounds
- I've started filming a four episode mini-series of shorts
- I've decided I think I would enjoy moving to Las Angeles in the fall of 09'
- The Twins broke my heart again.
- Millions, actually billions, maybe trillions of bowel movements have been made.

You haven't missed out on much.

Epic post coming soon.

Lost ended its fourth season a little bit ago. And if you know me, I am a huge fan of the show. Lost and ABC have come to an agreement to have the show run two more seasons and have an actual ending to the show, rather than have it run its course eventually getting canceled. For such a highly serialized show, that could be tragic. I've compiled my predictions for the future of Lost. And then continued as if the show didn't have this end date.



Season 5 : Journey Back to the Island, John Locke rises from dead.

Season 6 : Ben kills Penny, Desmond kills Ben, John kills Charles, Jack and Sawyer have a late night with Kate. Jin walks in on Sun and Hurley, Jin kills them both and self. Wait, he was alive?

Season 7 : Zombie season.

Season 8 : Vincent saves Steve and/or Scott and the 2 and/or 3 live happily ever after

Season 9 : Vincent is a zombie, eats Steve and/or Scott. Nikki and Paulo rise from dead as Zombies and eat Vincent, then themselves.

Season 10 : Richard gets a gray hair. Flips out and kills every last other.

Season 11 : Every last other comes back as Zombies, try to eat Richard. Richard turns into the smoke monster, kills the Zombies, then drinks a nice cold glass of Tang.

Season 12 : John Locke and Richard settle down in New New Otherton, not exclusively as lovers, but you get the feeling something is there like when Sawyer swan out of the water and Juliet smiled at him.

Season 13 : Jack, Juliet, Sawyer, and Kate have a long talk and decide to remain friends. They move into an apartment in New York, drink coffee, go through many trials, but always persevere together. Rose and Bernard make a few appearances. Don't forget about them!

Season 14 : Jack and John decide to have a man to man talk. They hug, Richard gets angry again, kills everyone. Finds another gray hair and then himself.

Season 15 : Zombie Smoke Monster Richard confesses he feels guilty for all the death he's caused. But then eats the rest of the zombie cast.

Season 16 : Some weird stuff happens. The writers were on lots of drugs.

Season 17 : Show gets canceled due to lack of characters, and introduction of a new one that is urban and raps a lot. The new 10 and under fanbase misses MC Christmas. This season only made it to one episode, but MC Christmas gets cameos on "Rose and Bernard : Love Island."