So you know I like to share stories of delivering pizzas, right? Well this one tonight was one of the best. I called someone at the dorms, he didn't answer. I left a message. He called back, I took his delivery over then. We must call people in the dorms, cause we can't get in without them. Anywho, I go over to the dorm and he comes down with his girlfriend.

"Sorry bout that dude, my phone was on silent."
"Oh it's all good, fifteen fifty-six was your total."
Girlfriend- "OH hey, can we use this coupon?"
"Yea, just let me call the store and get your new total."

I had left my phone at the store to charge, due to my weak battery.

"Hey, I have to use your phone."
"Oh, okay, you have my phone (to girlfriend)"

She gives me the phone. I slide up the slide screen to find a picture of her pleasuring herself.

"Oops," I say.
"Oh my god... you need to change that immediately"

I made the call and the poor girl stared at the ground the whole time.